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Customer Service
Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm
not very technical, but I think I am ready to
install now. What do I do first?
Customer Service Rep: The first
step is to open your HEART. Have you located
your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there
are several programs running right now.Is it
okay to install while they are running?
Customer Service Rep: What programs
are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have
PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Customer Service Rep: No problem.
LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from
your current operating system. It may remain
in your permanent memory, but it will no longer
disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its
own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have
to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to
turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Customer Service Rep: My pleasure.
Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE
has started installing itself automatically.
Is that normal?
Customer Service Rep: Yes it
is. You should receive a message that says it
will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do
you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely
installed?
Customer Service Rep: Yes, but
remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS
in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error
message already. What should I do?
Customer Service Rep: What does
the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR
412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean?
Customer Service Rep: Don't
worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means
that the LOVE program is set up to run on external
HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART.
It is one of those complicated programming things,
but in non-technical terms it means you have
to "LOVE" your own machine before
It can "LOVE"others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Customer Service Rep: Can you
find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Customer Service Rep: Excellent,
you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
Customer Service Rep: You're
welcome. Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT,
and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite
any conflicting files and begin patching any
faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then
empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure
it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART
is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG
is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM
are copying themselves all over my HEART!
Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE
is installed and running. You should be able
to handle it from here. One more thing before
I go...
Customer: Yes?
Customer Service Rep: LOVE is
freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will in
turn share it with other people and they will
return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you
for your help.
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